Teresa & Peter
2005-04-18 10:28:05 UTC
I have three children from previous relationships(one that lives at home)
and my husband has two children from his first marriage. Both of his
children live with their unbelievably controlling mother some 4 and a half
hours away in a remote country town.
The X won a trial late last year to relocate with the children, not for any
specific reason except that parts of her family had moved to the area (I
could go on and on about this woman...)
Anyway last week my husband and I drove to the pick up point to pick his
children up, this was the first time we had seen them since before
Christmas. The oldest child refused to come (not any surprises to us, she
also refuses to speak to him on the phone), the youngest (6 yrs) had been
hanging out for months for this holiday. X wife brought her whole family
along for the show, and even though we wrote to her asking for appropriate
clothing for the children for the week, she deliberatley provided us with
second hand shorts and tee shirts, shoes that were old (and too big),
clothing that used to belong to her sister, I know because I bought some of
the clothing. Believe me this woman is not short of a dollar.
I assumed this would happen and had packed more clothing for the child
anyway. I was just disgusted at her attitude.
After the week we returned to the pick up point and parked in exactly the
same spot that she had parked, when she arrived she parked some 200 metres
away with her mother (that women has a lot to answer for) and proceeded to
sit in their car and stare at us. I tool my child and my step child to the
toilet, and my step child motioned to her mother to come over to get her
things. The x and her mother just kept yelling out come on C hurry up and
get in the car. I took the children back to the car and we tool her
belongings out (she now had three times as many things to go home with) and
set them down at the front of the car. Grandmother stood some 200 metres
away yelling at the child to pick up her things and get in the car. Besides
not being able to hear properly it was obvious that the child would not be
able to carry all of her belongings. My husband called out to x, telling her
that the child was ready. That was met with more yelling from x and her
mother. My husband would not budge, years of being manipulated and threats
of losing his children were enough to make him see red. My own child was
incredulous, how could this be happening. How could a mother act like this
in front of other people but more importantly in front of her own child? I
am a separated parent myself, I still do not understand the need to control
a situation and a man you obviously despise. Well, I saw red, I yelled out
to the both of them to grow up and stop acting so immature. That this child
was now visibly upset was upsetting me. This was met with more yelling from
the x's camp and more cajolling for the child to walk the 200 odd metres
with her belongings to the car. There were threats of us being arrested and
the ususal abusive remarks. What is it with this woman? I truly understand
why some men just want to slap them. In this case it would do no good, this
woman has een taught everything she knows from a woman who is equally
manipulative and controlling with her own children (yes they all live
together - x is well over 30yrs) and my guess is that the oldest child has
begun to learn how to also be manipulative and controlling. She believes
that by hurting her father (at 8 yrs) that she is in control of him too.
How can women do this to their own children and destroy lives. It makes me
sick, I look at my own children and as much as do not always like their
father(s), I do at least try to maintain some relationship for the
children's sake. What is important here? I thought it was the welfare of the
children, but I must be wrong...
and my husband has two children from his first marriage. Both of his
children live with their unbelievably controlling mother some 4 and a half
hours away in a remote country town.
The X won a trial late last year to relocate with the children, not for any
specific reason except that parts of her family had moved to the area (I
could go on and on about this woman...)
Anyway last week my husband and I drove to the pick up point to pick his
children up, this was the first time we had seen them since before
Christmas. The oldest child refused to come (not any surprises to us, she
also refuses to speak to him on the phone), the youngest (6 yrs) had been
hanging out for months for this holiday. X wife brought her whole family
along for the show, and even though we wrote to her asking for appropriate
clothing for the children for the week, she deliberatley provided us with
second hand shorts and tee shirts, shoes that were old (and too big),
clothing that used to belong to her sister, I know because I bought some of
the clothing. Believe me this woman is not short of a dollar.
I assumed this would happen and had packed more clothing for the child
anyway. I was just disgusted at her attitude.
After the week we returned to the pick up point and parked in exactly the
same spot that she had parked, when she arrived she parked some 200 metres
away with her mother (that women has a lot to answer for) and proceeded to
sit in their car and stare at us. I tool my child and my step child to the
toilet, and my step child motioned to her mother to come over to get her
things. The x and her mother just kept yelling out come on C hurry up and
get in the car. I took the children back to the car and we tool her
belongings out (she now had three times as many things to go home with) and
set them down at the front of the car. Grandmother stood some 200 metres
away yelling at the child to pick up her things and get in the car. Besides
not being able to hear properly it was obvious that the child would not be
able to carry all of her belongings. My husband called out to x, telling her
that the child was ready. That was met with more yelling from x and her
mother. My husband would not budge, years of being manipulated and threats
of losing his children were enough to make him see red. My own child was
incredulous, how could this be happening. How could a mother act like this
in front of other people but more importantly in front of her own child? I
am a separated parent myself, I still do not understand the need to control
a situation and a man you obviously despise. Well, I saw red, I yelled out
to the both of them to grow up and stop acting so immature. That this child
was now visibly upset was upsetting me. This was met with more yelling from
the x's camp and more cajolling for the child to walk the 200 odd metres
with her belongings to the car. There were threats of us being arrested and
the ususal abusive remarks. What is it with this woman? I truly understand
why some men just want to slap them. In this case it would do no good, this
woman has een taught everything she knows from a woman who is equally
manipulative and controlling with her own children (yes they all live
together - x is well over 30yrs) and my guess is that the oldest child has
begun to learn how to also be manipulative and controlling. She believes
that by hurting her father (at 8 yrs) that she is in control of him too.
How can women do this to their own children and destroy lives. It makes me
sick, I look at my own children and as much as do not always like their
father(s), I do at least try to maintain some relationship for the
children's sake. What is important here? I thought it was the welfare of the
children, but I must be wrong...